I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
