I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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