It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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