I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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