She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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