You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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