At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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