We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
