I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
