I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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