I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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