Screwed.edu
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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