Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
