I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's the barista slut.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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