I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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