Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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