Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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