Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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