She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
