dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
