Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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