Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
