butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
