If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
