So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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