I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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