Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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