Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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