I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
