I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
