so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Couch. On fire.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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