She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
