Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
