He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
