she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
