he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
