Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize