Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
