His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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