Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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