One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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