This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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