So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
