4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
