he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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