So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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