Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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