At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
