The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
