Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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