you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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