Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
