her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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