Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
