Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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