I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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