dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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