Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
