i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
