he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
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i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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