Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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