What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
