Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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