She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
