fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
