he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
